lately i’ve been stuck.
i keep painting over my paintings again and again, feeling like what i have to express just is not coming out.
then i realized i was completely stuck on the notion that whatever i painted had to be good.
i’d completely forgotten to find beauty in the process, knowing it’s not just about having a finished painting, but about the story that reveals itself through the layers.
and, for me, that story can’t possibly come through if i’m caught up in painting something beautiful.
for the next few weeks, i’m painting at the beach, so i’ve moved my studio to the sea. it’s the most perfect place. so i expected i’d be able to get right into painting, perfectly.
of course that didn’t happen.
i wasn’t even liking my backgrounds. everything i painted seemed to be a big mess.
i kept covering it up again and again.
finally i made myself commit to a few characters. but my heart wasn’t into it.
the more i kept painting, the more frustrated i felt, thinking i’d never be able to uncover another new character i loved again.
so i tried all of my tricks for getting unstuck.
i went out for tea and sketched outside in a gorgeous garden. and i had so much fun with these funny, little imaginary creatures sketched in my journal with sharpie.
but when ever i got back into the studio and started on canvas, i felt the pressure to paint something perfect again.
still, i kept painting. then finally it happened.
just when i thought nothing would click, i crossed through that brick wall and painted something i liked. something that finally resonated with what i was feeling inside.
my first thought was that what i’d painted wasn’t very cute. and it was far from perfect.
i realized i’d been lucky these last few weeks, feeling like i didn’t need to paint over my work again and again. looking back, my last few paintings felt easy.
but i’ve learned that the best new things are uncovered when i show up and paint again and again, whether i like it or not. and always when i feel just about to give up and don’t care what my artwork looks like anymore…that’s when the best new thing comes out and finally shows up on the surface.
these new pieces are an evolution of the long-nosed snooter paintings i’d started last year. i’d wanted to get back to them and, looking back, i remembered i’d had the same stuck-ness before i uncovered those snooter characters too. it’s just part of my creative process.
and i can’t wait to share these new paintings with you (as soon as the top-coats dry).
ps. i’ve been putting the finishing touches on my website redesign with my lovely husband, brian.
he’s having a new year’s sale this month… 10% Off all website, blog and e-course design and development.